Still here, been laying off the ibook keys of late. Needed time to think things through. Had all these ideas, dreams, plans blah de blah and seemed to be doing nothing in getting any of them into action. Oh bugger!!! Stupidly was doing lots of overtime, allowing my job to take over my life (something I vowed not to allow). So, I gave myself a hard kick and am now back on track. Phew! Will tell more later.

My, o-my, o-my! All has been so strange of late. My emotions were all over the place. Crying, edgy, restless. Was self critical, doubting all surrounding me. It all started a few weeks back when I realized just how much I dislike my job. I know, I know, people say this all the time, but it had got to the point where I was crying at home before I left (bit like a child not wanting to go to school). The company I work for has little respect for it's employees even more so for the ones who have been around for several years (like me) and are are conscientious (like me). For so long I've been wanting to get out and over the last 12 months I have been reducing the number of hours I work in order to spend more time on my yoga, diploma and raw studies. Why did it seem I wasn't getting anywhere???? So, along with discussing all with my ever so understanding man I did the 'list' thing. Am a girl of lists...it's my thing! I set myself realistic timelines as to when I would be able to complete courses, modules etc...Obviously i wanted my list to go back in time so I could have had all things finished months before, but there was no MJFox and Doc. Brown around at the time (oh the 80s). Learned a lesson here...don't push yourself Em. Move forward steadily. My dream is to spend time in India to walk further down and explore my yogic path. Set my timeline for this. Tis a wee while off, but thought I can still start looking into this and planning....so went out and bought a map of and starting highlighting places i want to go. I cut back my overtime this month, so am now enjoying 2 day weekends with hubby. Lots of yoga and raw food experimentation. I also contacted an animal rescue home in Japan. I'm a HUGE animal lover, always have been. Felt I needed to do more to help our furry friends. So, in the New Year I will be a volunteer. So, all is better now. Still disliking the job, but I've let it go now. Pays for my courses, my classes and my list tells me I'll be saying 'sayonara' soon enough.

The sayonara has come quicker than expected....I have resigned. Phew! Feel so much better already.

Resignation handed in. For a while now I have felt that I've been carrying 10 sumo wrestlers on each shoulder. These sumo wrestlers were not just sitting there, but pushing and shoving and making me feel oh so heavy. A few a disappeared since I decided to take control. Now, I have a chesty cough, splitting headache and other vile symptoms. I know the reason why.....my body is detoxing. I've been battling with myself for so long, building horrid nasty toxins, that now my body and mind is finding peace these toxins need to escape. And good riddance is what I say! Why have I allowed this to happen? How did I allow it to get so bad? Received an email yesterday from my best friend. Her 33 year old cousin died of a heart attack....33!!!! A year older than I. A huge shock and puts so much into perspective. We are pushing ourselves, we don't take note of warning signs. I can't do that anymore and I simply don't want too. I'm looking forward to what lies ahead. Am dedicating four months to yoga and studies BUT more importantly I dedicating time to me.

All Christmas cards written, pressies bought. No sudden rush for me this year...all done. time to put my feet up!

Have no fears about my new venture. Am looking forward to 2007 and finally being on the track to achieve my goals and rule the world!!! Well, maybe not the later but a little closer to working and living my dreams. January: restorative yoga course February: contemporary dance workshops March: yoga thailand for three weeks April: yoga Teacher training may: complete raw food course and start coaching November: Thai Yoga therapy course (plus ashtanga road trip round california) Trying to see if I can fit in a yoga kids training somewhere. Will also be working on my yoga diploma. busy but fantastic.